Father’s Day is the 19th. Followed by June 23rd, the day my mom transitioned from this life to the next. D day my friend Kali calls it. Death day. D day sounds kind of morbid to me, honestly. It has a lot of energy around it. Perhaps we could call it T Day? Transition Day?
The days leading up to my mom’s transition, I played Enya’s Shepherd Moons CD on repeat for my mom. She loved Enya. When my dad was transitioning, I played A Decade of Steely Dan (Remastered) – Steely Dan for him. That was his favorite artist. They say the last thing to go is your hearing. I thought I would take the opportunity to let them feel their music and have a more peaceful transition, as they both were in a lot of pain.
At my mom’s viewing, I played the Shepherd Moons CD, in remembrance of her last moments. Jeffrey Fadden and Lori Ingwerson (a father and mother figure to me) helped me to make this video, which we played at her viewing, the night that Michael Jackson died, June 25, 2009.
If you’re about to face this day for the first time, or the second or third, you might want to try:
- communicate to your loved ones, the ones you can talk to about anything, that you don’t know what to expect, but you may need to talk at any point in time about your mom, dad, parent
- writing your feelings in a journal
- use your iPhone, computer, smartphone or anything else that records audio to talk about your feelings. I’ve used all of the above, including a video camera
- if you have health insurance or can afford it, connect with a therapist
- use your pain and turn it into something positive / creative. paint, knit, draw, write (again), express, express, express.